Listening transcript · Episode 27

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B1–B2Everyday EnglishAbout 9 min + dynamic ads5 PDF versions available

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Welcome to Your English Toolbox, your slow English podcast where we train your ear step by step.

I am Julia.

And I am Martin.

Friends, thank you for being here again.

Before we start, Julia, what are we going to talk about today?

Today, we explore a powerful idea, the illusion of feeling like a fraud.

We will understand why the mind invents this lie even when you succeed.

And we will learn how to break this illusion, so you can grow with confidence.

If you stay with us until the end, you will learn how to challenge this inner lie, how to stop comparing yourself to others, and how to act with courage even when you feel insecure.

And now, before we move on, we need your help.

Friends, if you learn something new today, please leave a comment after listening.

Comments are extremely important because platforms only support podcasts with active communities.

Your comment helps our show grow, reach more learners, and keep this project alive.

Thank you, friends.

Let's begin part two of our special series dedicated to our Lithuanian friends and to every friend listening today.

Part one, The Mask of the Imposter.

Martin, imposter syndrome is fascinating because it defies logic.

It really does.

You can have degrees, awards, and a great job, but you still feel empty.

You feel like you just got lucky.

You think, "I fooled them in the interview.

I am just acting."

It is the persistent fear of being exposed.

We often imagine that this only happens to CEO/s or famous people, but it is everywhere.

I see it constantly with parents.

The imposter parent is very real.

You look at other parents and think, "They are so calm.

They know exactly what they are doing."

"And I am just making it up as I go along.

I am a mess."

But the truth is that every parent is making it up as they go along.

There is no secret manual that everyone else received.

But imposter syndrome isolates you.

It makes you feel like you are the only one struggling.

It prevents you from asking for help because you think asking for help proves you are incompetent.

And this brings us to the biggest trigger of imposter syndrome in the modern world.

The comparison trap.

Part two, The Comparison Trap.

We live in an age of curated perfection.

When you scroll through social media, what do you see?

You see the highlights of everyone else's life.

You see the perfect vacation, the promotion, the happy family photo.

And then you look at your own life.

You know your own secrets.

You know your messy kitchen, your doubts, your lazy mornings.

You compare your internal reality with everyone else's external presentation.

And that comparison is unfair.

You think, "Look at them.

They have it all figured out.

They are real adults."

"And I am just pretending to be an adult."

This creates a constant background noise of anxiety.

You feel like you need to work harder, buy more, or achieve more just to keep up.

You start to overcompensate.

You might stay late at work every night just to prove you are worthy.

Or you might use overly complicated words in English to sound smart.

That is a classic sign.

I used to do that.

I was terrified of making a grammar mistake, so I tried to speak like a textbook.

But real confidence is being simple.

Real confidence is being authentic.

The imposter tells you that you need to be perfect to be safe.

But perfection is a prison.

The more you try to be perfect, the more you feel like a fake.

Because nobody is perfect.

So how do we break out of this prison?

We change how we understand action and confidence.

Part three, Action Before Confidence.

This is the most important tool we will share with you today.

Most people have the equation backward.

They think, "First, I need to feel confident, and then I will take action."

"I will apply for the job when I feel ready."

"I will speak up in the meeting when I feel brave."

But that day never comes.

Here is the truth.

Confidence is the result of action, not the cause.

You cannot think your way into confidence.

You have to act your way into confidence.

You have to do the scary thing while you are still afraid.

Courage is not the absence of fear.

Courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Every time you act in spite of the imposter voice, you rewire your brain.

You prove to yourself, "I did it and I survived."

Even if your voice shakes.

Even if you make a mistake.

You survived.

And that survival builds the confidence loop.

Action creates competence, and competence creates confidence.

So if you feel like an imposter, do not wait for the feeling to disappear.

Embrace it.

Say to yourself, "Yes, I feel like an imposter because I am trying something new."

I am an amateur, and that is beautiful.

Being an amateur means you are growing.

The only people who never feel like imposters are the people who never challenge themselves.

If you feel like a fraud, it probably means you are pushing your boundaries.

It means you are stepping into a bigger version of yourself.

Another powerful strategy is reframing your wins.

The imposter says, "You got that success because you were lucky."

You need to reframe that immediately.

Say, "Luck played a part, but I was the one who showed up to catch the luck."

"I prepared, I worked, I was there."

Own your efforts.

Start a success journal.

Every evening, write down three things you did well.

Small things like, "I cooked a healthy meal," or, "I sent that difficult email."

Force your brain to see the evidence of your competence.

You are building a case against the imposter.

Conclusion, you are enough.

Friends, this has been a personal journey for us and for you.

We want you to know that you are not alone in these feelings.

We feel them too.

Every time we record a new episode, the imposter whispers to us ...

But we do it anyway because connecting with you is more important than our fear.

To our Lithuanian friends and to all our friends listening, you are enough.

You do not need to be perfect to be worthy.

You just need to keep showing up.

Before we say goodbye, we have one request.

What is one micro-action you will take this week?

One small thing you have been afraid to do?

Write it in the comments so we can support you.

We will read every comment.

And we will cheer for you every time you take a step forward.

Thank you for letting us be part of your growth.

Keep moving forward, friends.

See you in the next episode.

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