Listening transcript · Episode 70

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I still have that ringing in my ears, Julia, like a constant hum after a concert.

That is just the adrenaline finally leaving your system, Martin.

Maybe you are right, but it has been 18 months since I sat across a table from someone new.

18 months since my last date.

I see, 18 months is a long time to keep your heart behind a glass shield.

It felt like I was learning to walk again or trying to speak

a language I had forgotten.

And how was she?

This girl from Lithuania?

I will tell you.

Her name is Elena and she is like nothing I expected.

Tell me about the moment you saw her.

She was standing by the entrance of that small jazz club, looking completely calm while I was a mess inside.

You a mess?

The great Martin, the guide of momentum?

I was overthinking everything, wondering if my shirt was too formal or if I

would run out of things to say.

That is the irony of your life, Martin.

You coach people on action, but you were frozen.

Exactly, I felt like a beginner again, trapped in the fear of making a mistake.

So did the conversation flow or was it a struggle?

It was fascinating because she has this way of looking at you, very direct, very honest.

That sounds intimidating.

It was, but in a way that made me want to be

my best self.

Did you find yourself performing or were you actually there?

That is the problem.

I don't know yet.

What do you mean?

I left the date feeling a mix of excitement and a strange kind of anxiety.

Like a cliffhanger in a movie where you don't know the ending.

Exactly, I am interested, deeply interested, but I am also terrified of breaking my peace.

Peace is often just another word for being comfortably alone, Martin.

You might

be right, but you look like you need some peace yourself, Julia.

Is it that obvious?

You have been rubbing your temples for the last 20 minutes.

My office in the multinational is becoming a giant pressure cooker this month.

I thought HR was supposed to be the calm department.

Not when you have to manage people like Robert.

Robert?

Is he the one who always interrupts the training sessions?

He is an absolute nightmare, Martin, a complete energy vampire.

What happened today?

I don't even want to get into the details now because it will ruin my mood.

That bad?

I will tell you more about Robert later, but let's just say he makes me want to quit my job twice a day.

The anchor is starting to feel the weight of the ship, isn't she?

I spent four hours today listening to middle managers complaining about burnout.

And who listens to the person listening to the burnout?

Usually

I just go to my garden and look at my plants in silence.

But today the silence wasn't enough?

No, because my phone keeps buzzing with emails marked as urgent.

They don't understand that you are a human being, not a psychological vending machine.

I feel like I am performing two roles at once, and both are wearing me out.

You are the one who tells me that we need to name our emotions to tame them.

I know, but

knowing the theory doesn't make the headache go away.

What is the one thing that made you feel the most stress today?

A meeting about productivity optimization that felt like an interrogation.

Those words sound like the antithesis of everything we do here.

It is, Martin.

It feels like a lie.

Maybe we need to apply some of your mindfulness tricks to your own boss.

My boss is a person who thinks relaxing is a waste of billable hours.

He

doesn't see people.

He only sees charts and efficiency ratios.

It makes me feel invisible, even though my job is to make others feel seen.

That is a very lonely place to be, Julia.

But you are not invisible here.

Here, your precision and your empathy are the foundations of everything.

Thank you, Martin.

I needed to hear that before we hit record.

But back to your mystery woman.

What was the highlight of the night?

We were talking about

our childhoods, and she described the Baltic Sea in winter.

She used words that made me feel the cold air on my skin.

I realized I wasn't just listening to a story.

I was experiencing her world.

That is the power of a real connection.

It takes you out of your own head and puts you in someone else's heart.

She told me something that really stuck in my mind about Lithuania.

What was it?

She said that in her

country they have a saying about not counting your chickens before they hatch.

We have that in English too, Martin.

I know, but the way she said it made me feel like I was already planning the next six months.

You were projecting your future onto a person you just met.

I was already imagining her sitting in my living room, reading her books while I worked.

That is the Martin way, always five miles ahead of the present moment.

It's a habit I can't seem to break, even with people.

Maybe that is why you feel so much anxiety about it.

Because I am not dating her.

I am dating a version of her I created in my head.

Precisely.

You are not allowing her to be a mystery.

She is a mystery, though.

She talks about her childhood like it was a different planet.

That sounds lovely and grounded.

She is very grounded, which is exactly what I

need when my head is in the clouds.

Do you have a second date planned?

She suggested going for a walk in the forest this Saturday.

A forest walk?

That is a very Julia type of date.

I thought of you immediately when she said it.

It will force you to be present, Martin.

No jazz clubs to distract you.

I am worried I will find the silence between us awkward.

Silence is only awkward if you are trying to

hide something.

I am trying to hide my fear of being vulnerable after so long.

She probably feels exactly the same way.

Do you think so?

We are all just children in adult clothes trying to find a connection.

That is a very anchor thing to say.

It's the truth I see every day in HR, Martin.

People come to my office pretending to be strong, but they are just tired.

They are tired of the masks and the performance.

Does it make you cynical about people?

No. It makes me more compassionate, but it is also very draining.

I spend my whole day holding space for others, but sometimes I feel like I have no space for myself.

Well, we should probably check our notes for the next official episode.

You mean the one about AI chatbots?

Exactly.

I have been doing some research on how much we can actually trust them.

That is a huge topic.

People use

them for everything now.

But they don't always know how to frame their questions properly.

Right.

It's all about the context you provide.

I want us to talk about the different profiles these bots have when they answer.

And the risks, Martin.

We can't forget the risks of relying too much on them.

They are powerful tools, but they can be dangerous if you don't handle them with care.

It's like having a supercar, but not knowing how to drive.

That is a great metaphor.

I'll add it to the script.

When are we releasing this one?

This coming Sunday.

I think it's the perfect timing.

Good.

I have a lot to say about the psychological impact of talking to machines.

I'm looking forward to it, but now let's actually start the recording for today.

Okay.

Let me just adjust my chair.

Are we going to talk about the mindset shift first?

Yes.

Let's stick to the plan.

Okay.

Three.

Two.

One.

By the way, did I tell you what Robert did with the coffee machine this morning?

No, but I can imagine it was something selfish.

It was worse than that.

He actually tried to-

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